Rewriting Your Life Story
Step 1: Daring
Four years ago, I finally took a step to rewrite my own life story, creating a new life after hiding in the shades for two decades, trying to breathe and find meaning.
On the path of rewriting my life story, I realized that my never-ending hurdles had nothing to do with other people or circumstances. It was my own choice. A bitter truth, hard to accept! It was my choice of not showing up, not exposing my true potential, not doing what it takes to be real. Doing all this was frightening as it involved the risk of being judged and failing.
Only when I dared to show up and do what I felt I was meant to do, my life began to shift.
I realized that it was me who had to give myself a chance. It was me who had to believe in a possibility. No one else would do it for me. And I was already infinitely capable of doing whatever it takes.
When I began to realize this simple yet magical truth – that I was already infinitely capable – my life story began to change.
That’s why I am writing this series.
To inspire you into rewriting your life story.
To guide you with simple steps.
To remind you that you are the “protagonist” of your life, infinitely capable and powerful. As you ever were and as you ever will be…
Making That Decision
The time I started rewriting my story was exactly the time I thought I had no life, no hope, no power. I’d given up on my dream of writing. I had a job that wasn’t my passion. I was on pills, trying to recover from the past trauma of my father’s death. I was full of anger, hatred and fear towards almost everything about life. All because I didn’t see any possibility of changing my life and becoming who I was meant to be. All I knew was I couldn’t go on. I couldn’t breathe. And I reflected it all on my family, which I loved and valued the most.
So I dared to make a decision.
I dared to change the “messiest part of my life”.The part that made me “stuck.”Not as a plan or as a strategy… But to breathe and to get my life back.
I dared to quit my fifteen-year long career in advertising, to follow my passion of becoming an author.
It wasn’t a decision to change my job. It was a “confession” of the mess that I was. It was a “commitment” to become who I was meant to be. I knew that there was something more to life and I was not getting it. I knew that I had something in me that needed to be seen and heard. It was a daring step towards becoming authentic and real. But it also meant no security, no paycheck, no success guarantee.
World-renowned research professor and storyteller Brené Brown says; “If you trade your authenticity for safety, you may experience the following: anxiety, depression, eating disorders, addiction, rage, blame, resentment, and inexplicable grief.
I realized that this was what I had done exactly: Trading my authenticity for (so-called) safety. And I had to “dare” to change my game.
What makes us “stuck” is exactly our “Way-in” to a whole new world where we will be “healed”.
The messiest part of our life is “the most brilliant clue”that shows us where to start the change.
All change starts with a daring decision.
A daring decision “made by us”;no one or nothing but “us”. There are no circumstances, no coincidences, no people out there to decide but us.
And it’s not possible to know “where the decision will exactly lead us”. Decisions are not fortunetellers. Expecting that is nonsense.
The moment we make the decision, we start “rewriting our life story”.
The decision takes us to a whole new world “even on the day the decision is made”.But we don’t realize it yet.
And all big decisions are made with fear. We need to “decide with fear”.
A decision without fear is not worth to be made; it won’t have the power of change.
Fear is a human condition and it will never go away.
The life we want to live is literally “one step away into the unknown world.”
Imagine yourself standing in a bubble.
It is where you live. In it is your home, your job, your perspective, your view of life… It is where you operate. It is your comfort zone.
In the bubble, life is relatively safe and definitely predictable. But as we live, we grow. Our experience, learn and expand our perspective. We’re not the person ten years ago, a year ago, even a week ago. We “expand”.
As we expand, our bubble gets tighter. We cannot breathe. But we pretend that we can. We pretend there is no other place to be.
Outside the bubble is an unknown world. We make up every sort of excuse not to step out. Depression, finances, kids’ school tuition; anything. Because our brain is designed for “survival” and it does everything to keep us in. Our mind is “conditioned” to make us think we’re not powerful, smart, rich or good enough to succeed; that we need “approval and appreciation” from others; that we will “fail and be ashamed” if we try.
Everything we dream remains outside our bubble. For now, and forever… We fall into despair. We get depressed. We get sick.
If we don’t dare to get out, the bubble becomes so tight that we drown.
Four years ago, I dared to tear my bubble, not to drown.
I remember breathing again, but fearfully, with massive breakdowns due to uncertainty.
Because I didn’t realize one simple fact: Once we step out of our bubble, we are immediately in a new and expanded one. This is crucial. There is no void.
Infinite bubbles stand beside one another of various shapes, colors and sizes; with various purposes, dreams, people and circumstances. When you dare to step out, you are already in a new soil. You just don’t know it yet.
That new soil is not founding a million-dollar business overnight or starting something new the next day. It just means “stepping out of your old world with a new mindset.”Getting out of that job, that relationship, that addiction. It means you are “already”breathing in a new world of new possibilities. But that world is just not visible to you yet.
Nothing changes in your daily life first. You might even be doing nothing other than feeling depressed. Just know that you’re already in the right soil, with the right people, with the right opportunities. You just don’t see them yet. They are all behind the curtain.
They reveal slowly. One by one. As a video in social media, as a person you meet, as a course you take, as an article you read, as a group you join, as a sentence in an e-mail, as a phone call you make…
Your new world is revealed in infinite ways as long as you have one thing: A passion. Passion gives you joy, power, hope and meaning.
It starts unrolling the Red Carpet of limitless possibilities.
Knowing or admitting your passion is the key. It is there, somewhere in your belly, since the day you were born. It is your guide to your new life, new world.
The next parts of this series will be about how to define your passion; where it leads you; how to get your power back, how you get your life back. How to create miracles in your life that you never believed to exist in the first place…
Until then, think about what your passion is. Imagine yourself already in that new bubble.
Close your eyes, take the fresh breath. Feel and Imagine yourself getting your life back and making something fabulous out of it.
How does it feel?
Does it feel like it’s worth everything?
Born in 1978 in Istanbul, Aslı Eti is a graduate of Robert College and holds a degree in Social Sciences and Philosophy from Bosphorus University. After many years of experience in multinational advertising agencies, managing global brands, Eti turned to writing full time. She has published many short stories in a number of prominent literary magazines. Published in June 2016, her debut novel Forget Me not became an instant success, six editions following within months, found its way to school curriculums.
Her second novel Fourteen Days of the World followed a year later, and a ‘Philosophy for Children’ short story series called School of Wisdom came in 2018.
Aslı Eti is committed to inspiring journeys of self-discovery. Fully convinced of the healing power of words, she is passionate about motivating people of all ages to seek the purpose of their lives, to reclaim their own power and to illuminate the world. She writes with a purpose of inspiring and healing one another; reminding people of the infinite possibilities and the beauty of life.
She is married, has a nine-year-old daughter and continues writing with a passion.